Tag Archives: relationships

Bait and Shoeitch

22 May


So what are the consequences of falling pray to a bait and switch? I went shopping in my Phillip Lim Nude Cody D’orsay Heels and took a break to have lunch. While my shoes and I were taking a load off, we couldn’t help but overhear a couple arguing over lunch a table next to ours. While we didn’t mean to side-bust on their rather private conversation, my shoes and I were the only company we had for one another. My shoes so happened to be flagrantly eavesdropping, so I had to join them. What initially caught our attention was when we heard, “Well you’ve changed.” Then came, “That’s was not what I signed up for,” and followed by, “Who the hell did I end up marrying? I don’t even know you anymore.” After gathering that they were married for a short time before the shit hit the fan and resentment made itself right at home, I couldn’t help but deduce that the the Mr. pulled a bait and switch on the Mrs.; with the Hubby giving the impression that after getting hitched, things between them were going to be something that obviously is not the case now, according to the Wifey. I began wondering where the term bait and switch came from and my brilliant Phillip Lim’s (so knowledgable about the retail world coming from Barney’s and all) informed, “In regards to buying products, a bait and switch is a misleading tactic making false claims about offering a product that was never intended on being sold, but rather switching the product for a lower quality or a higher sales margin. This is illegal and we can take action against the seller, who is guilty of baiting and switching, in order to get compensated.”

While my shoes were well versed in product knowledge, they wondered exactly how people interpret this term as it relates to relationships. While there’s really no clear definition, when we think some one has pulled a bait and switch, the descriptions always seem to contain the subjective feeling of getting duped. Besides our intuition or having an inkling that a person may not be who he or she seems to be, we enter into relationships under the pretense that what we see (and who we get to know) is what we get. To put in in terms my shoes could understand, I gave the analogy that like knock-offs don’t say “Imitation” on their labels, people-pretenders don’t have “Liar” tattooed in Old English gangster-style across their chests or “Prevaricator” tramp-stamped on their lower backs. Like anything that seems like it’s too good to be true, people still get suckered into the “deal.” Even the most cautious consumer can fall victim to a scammer; however, in regards to relationships and investing our time in our partners, if time equated to money, there are no refunds. I proceeded to explain that if we get thrown for a loop by some one who we found out or even by some one who we perceived did a lot of “false advertising,” the only thing we get in return is a reality check (Nope, can’t take that to the bank). Yes, it’s like getting kicked in the pants, or for shoes, it’s like breaking a heel, but those hard knocks are something we can’t buy. So, we must suppose they are invaluable learning lessons. My shoes then asked the question, “What if a person was a certain way at the beginning of a relationship, but then that person, unintentionally, just changed and no longer feels the same way about something or some one? That doesn’t really that counts, does it?” I had to warn them, since they once vowed to always have my back if they wanted to stay on my feet, that they better not even think about a justification for a bait a shoeitch.

Don’t Leave Me Tongue-Tied

19 Mar


What do we do when we see some one unexpected… but the kind of some one that isn’t necessarily the type that we wanted to see unexpectedly? You know, the some one that we thought we’d actually never see again, ever? Most of the time, I’m so oblivious to the people around me, but it’s just my luck that I end up running into some guy at my gym that I dated ages ago. I am wearing my Nike Free Run 2 iD Running Shoes that I customized in navy blue and hot pink with my nick name “Sarah Face” on the left and right tongues of my iD sneakers. As I am running on the treadmill at the gym, I see a guy walk in that looks like “Andrew,” and guess what, it IS Andrew. What the hell is he doing here? He was interning in San Francisco when I met him, but wasn’t he supposed to be living in some other country, and not working out at MY gym? Crap, what do I do, what do I do? Damn, I have 1/4 of a 4 mile run left… “Be cool, finish the run, slow to a jog, pull your hat down, pretend like you didn’t see him, and then walk inconspicuously to the bathroom,” my sneakers advise. Good plan, but it’s too late, I saw him in my peripheral see me and and as I finish my run and try to walk to the women’s lounge, he walks over in my direction and I can no longer avoid him. This is the one time I regret putting my name on my shoes, and my sneakers immediately respond with “Yeah right, like he’ll be looking at your feet to validate your identity because he will remember you by your name before um, your face?” My shoe are such smart alecks, but they are right. Andrew and I had a great few dates and things were going well until the time I realized I wasn’t ready to be in a serious relationship, but wasn’t really mature enough to give it to him straight. So I did the only thing a really young, really immature, conflict avoider knew how to do at the time and while in his apartment, I went into his phone, changed my contact information, and then got the hell out of there while he was in the bathroom getting ready. “Who the hell does that? Women are evil. That, or you had some really bad shoes advising you back then,” my shoes comment. Geeze, give me break, I immediately regretted it, ok? I made an impulse move at a weird moment and I panicked, I obviously couldn’t go back and explain what I had done when I had already left the building. Honestly, I don’t remember what shoes I was wearing at the time, but yes, I blame it all on them and maybe the cocktail I might have had earlier that night. It was another case of one more person contributing to the bad rap of of people dealing in relationships (or not) in their early twenties. Still, that explanation doesn’t change the circumstances at hand. “Sarah, is that you?” Andrew asks. Ok sneakers, give me something good, hurry… Silence… Perfect, now you guys are tongue-tied.

Little Miss Goodie Two-Shoes

20 Feb


Have you ever met a person who is too nice, too proper, too optimistic, and a little too “perfect?” I am wearing my nude Jimmy Choo Cosmic pumps today and while sitting with some co-workers at the office, the lunchtime gossip begins about “Leanor,” the girl who they say just “bugs.” It appears that being the goody-goody, self-righteous type is not the most popular quality when making friends at work or just being generally well-liked in the company. Since my pumps are a little naïve when it comes to work environments, they asked why a “do-gooder,” with “good” in her moniker, has such a “bad” rap or a negative connotation. The only explanation I had for them was that we all have flaws, and while we strive to achieve some level of “perfection” or would like to be known as polite and well-mannered, Leonor was excessive about sharing her moral fabric with others to a fault. In this very cynical world, coming off as excessively virtuous comes with a lot of suspicion and perhaps a little envy. As I was attempting to come up with an explanation as to why Leonor may benefit from loosening up a little to be able to relate more to her peers, I hear a polite rebuttal to my statements from my shoes saying, “We actually like Leonor, she sounds a lot like us. We can be high (they are high heels) and mighty (yes, built to last)… We were basically made to perfection by our creator (Jimmy Choo, of course). We always do what is right (yes, even the left), and it does not matter what is said about her, we have to be honest…” Well, if I’m not mistaken my pumps are both Little Miss Goodie Two-Shoes!